I dream of plains of ice
by Anki-Shai
Summary: In which Toshiro starts dreaming about the past and finally discovers he is, in fact, a god.


**Disclaimer: **Characters don't belong to me, they belong to their respective creators. English is no my native language so I apologize for the mistakes.

Do read with an open mind and enjoy it.

* * *

**I dream of plains of ice, and a life I forgot I have**

_I dream of plains of ice…_

_I can hear a voice…_

…_echoing…_

…_crushing…engulfing…_

…_It is swallowing me up…_

…_just like thunder…_

_Resounding far in the distance…_

…_Like a flower touching my palm._

_I die in the field of ice_

_~ The First Time ~_

He felt it.

It was cold and dark; there was nothing welcoming in the sight spreading out in front of his eyes. Dark sky, dark terrain, plains of ice filled with desolation, hopelessness and dead. He walked slowly; he felt the beating of his heart knowing what he was doing was wrong. Still, he walked.

He wasn't alone; he could feel others behind him, another beside him. But he couldn't see them for his eyes were taking in the unknown terrain. It felt familiar and yet there was something grasping his heart and making it ache with fear.

Each breath he took was followed by the steam forming in front of him, his green, emerald eyes sweeping the terrain knowing there was something out there, ready to attack. Ready to exterminate him/them.

Soon enough they were in the middle of what, in another time, must had been a great room holding royal meetings. He didn't understand how he knew this, but he knew. And it scared him.

Where was he? Why was he here? He looked down at his hand, his paled slim hand. Long fingers fitting an even tall figure. There was something wrong with this. And then, he heard it…resounding footsteps advancing, voices in the dark, the cold became unbearable he lifted his face and…blood-red eyes were watching him.

Then….sharp pain on his right side. Blood, coldness, ice…

He heard the thunderous voice calling out to him. He felt the hands grabbing at his form, he couldn't see anything but the shape of gold, tall towers, a sky filled with stars, the sound of water falling, the bright colors of a rainbow…the familiar form of thunder…

Then he heard it again, that voice, calling to him and he knew that voice…he had heard it before…before he fell, before he took the wrong choices….before the plain of ice…

"_BROTHER!"_

…He woke up breathing hard; there was cold sweet falling down his cheeks. He sat with both his hands holding his head. His eyes were wide open and his breathing was staggered, his heart beating hard.

It was that dream again.

He thought once he gained the power of Hyourinmaru the dream would be gone and he would have a nice night sleep. He had been wrong, of course, for the dream had never left his nights. But lately, after the Winter War, the dream had come more frequently, had disturbed his nights. It had left him without a good night rest.

It was the same dream, over and over again; but with the years, it had been filling more images, more feelings, more sensations…

The biting cold, the plains of ice…the smell of dead.

"TAICHOU!" Matsumoto Rangiku barged in his room without a care of the world. Her hair was a tangle mess and she was wearing a small robe that leave nothing to the imagination.

Her face was marked with worry and concern, her grey eyes focused on the young form sitting up on the futon. She approached the young man and Toshiro gulped when he felt how warm her hand felt against his forehead. Not soon had he thought that, Matsumoto yelped in pain and fell on her butt. Her eyes grew big and there was something there…something Toshiro never thought he would see in her eyes because of him.

Fear.

"Matsumoto, what…" Toshiro trailed off and his eyes moved to the hand moments ago had been on his forehead. It was frozen.

* * *

The Fourth Division felt like a sacred temple.

There wasn't any sound, there wasn't any light bright enough to blind the sight. It was silent and the light was diminished to fit the night. The only room alive with movement and voices was the one in which, Hitsugaya Toshiro, Captain of the Tenth Squad had placed his lieutenant for Unohana to attend to her.

Toshiro stood in the darkened corner of the room, green eyes watching the every move of Unohana, Hanataro and Isane. The three of them attending to a now unconscious Matsumoto. There was guilty growing inside Toshiro; he could feel it worming his way out of his mind to his heart and soul.

He watched as Rangiku's face contorted in a wince of pain; then he didn't look no more. He turned around watching the night in Soul Society through the small window. His head cocked to his side while he watched his hand out of the corner of his eyes.

There was nothing abnormal about it. It was paled as it always had been; it was slender with long fingers. Like the hand on his dream. The dream…

Toshiro frowned swallowing down his anger and frustration.

"Are you ready to speak now, Hitsugaya-taichou?"

Toshiro didn't feel the woman approached him; he turned around and discovered they were alone in the room. Matsumoto was fast asleep and her hand was covered in bandages.

His eyes took in the form of the sleeping woman; she seemed to be sleeping peacefully unaware of what was happening outside her dreams. For a moment, Toshiro wonder if her dreams were as plague with memories as Toshiro's were or if maybe…

"She is going to be fine. Her hand would recover, although I don't recommend any exercise that would upset her right hand."

Toshiro felt the corner of his lips twitched upwards, forming the ghost of a smile, "She is going to be happy to hear it. No paperwork for her, then. Not until she recovers."

Unohana frowned narrowing her eyes. Never before…not even when Toshiro was a small kid back in Rukongai had he lost control of his powers to the point he would froze someone. Toshiro turned to face Unohana and sigh.

"I…I have a dream." He hadn't spoken about it until now. He felt the insecurities of his position growing inside him, to reveal to a fellow Captain he had felt weak and had let a stupid dream get the best of him…

"A dream I haven't had since…since I obtained Hyourinamru's power."

"What can you tell me about this dream?" Toshiro eyed Unohana for a moment, he felt grateful the woman didn't judge him, didn't mock him about it. Instead, she sounds interested, she sounded as if she wanted to help.

Toshiro knew, however, there were _darker_ interests behind Unohana's attention and words. If there was a possibility of Toshiro losing control…

"I don't remember." Unohana lifted an eyebrow skeptical but Toshiro's expression never changed. If anything it grew stronger in his shame and guilty. "I only know there is a plain of ice…there is…I thought it was the place where I died and later on obtained Hyourinmaru but…"

Toshiro lowered his head, his left hand placed on his forehead. He felt the sympathy pat of Unohana on his shoulder and, with his face hidden in the shadows Toshiro lost all expression form his face. His green eyes narrowing, glowing in the dark.

He did remember. He remembered every single detail; even if he didn't remember what it meant…It was such a relief he was a pretty good liar.

"You're not the only one who has this kind of dreams once in a while, Hitsugaya-taichou." Toshiro turned to look at Unohana.

"I'm not?" Unohana smiled sympathetically at him shaking her head.

"No, if I remember correctly…Kuchiki-taichou once destroyed his room after a particular dream." There was a gleam of mischief behind Unohana's eyes; something Toshiro appreciated greatly because this was a secret regarding Kuchiki Byakuya losing control.

"Do you…happen to know what kind of dream?" Asked Toshiro and perhaps it was the innocence behind the question, the eagerness in his eyes, or simple the memory of such a moment Unohana laughed.

"Oh, no. Just conform yourself on knowing you're not the only one." Unohana glanced back at Matsumoto then at Toshiro. "Maybe, it would be a good idea if you spoke with someone, or try to keep a dairy dream to try and find why it's your reiatsu fluctuating so chaotically."

Toshiro nodded his head making his way to Matsumoto. He grabbed her hand in his, caressing the covered skin with his thumb. Unohana watched from afar, there is softness behind her stare. She recognized the feelings ever since the first time Toshiro and Rangiku were in the Fourth Division the first time. It was a week after Toshiro had been pointed Captain of the Tenth…Unohana wondered how long would it take for either of them to make the right move and find happiness.

* * *

_~The Second Time~_

He watched his reflection. His eyes taking in every form, every curve, every shape of his face and body; he pursed his lips trying to arrange his hair backwards. There was something wrong about it.

Has his hair always been white?

What about his eyes? Were they always green?

_You are asking too many questions early in the morning, Master._

Toshiro didn't even flinch when the humanoid form of his zanpakutou appeared behind him. Hyourinmaru was taller than him, even after all these years Toshiro wouldn't even dream of being that tall. There is an enigmatic smile on Hyourinamru's face.

_You will grow, Master. You will be tall, taller than you ever imagine…_

_'What are you talking about?'_

The curve of Hyourinmaru's smile didn't change, instead it grew. Toshiro turned around and looked up at his zanpakutou.

_You have a dream last night. A dream you should remember…_

'_What do you know about them? About my dreams?'_

Hyourinmaru shook his head glancing down at Toshiro; _I cannot tell you that which you don't wish to remember, Master. _ _This is a path, I'm afraid, I can't help you with._

'_Hyourinmaru…what are you talking about? What's going on?'_

Hyourinmaru placed both hands on Toshiro's shoulders, he leaned in until his face is right in front of Hitsugaya's one.

_Remember, I'll be there forever helping you whatever you decide to do. But you better be ready because…they are coming._

Toshiro found himself looking inside Hyourinmaru's icy-blue eyes and then he saw it.

_Thunder_

_Red and Gold flying away in the sky._

_White, blue and red. A shield in his line of vision._

_Green. Smashing away._

_Black. Fast and lethal._

_Purple…And arrow flying towards him._

Then, a dark figure engulfed in shadows. Toshiro felt the claws around his neck grasping tightly putting him closer. Toshiro could only see red eyes, but he heard, as clear as anything, the voice.

A terrifying voice sending shivers down his back.

"_I told you I would find you wherever you hide, Little god."_

Toshiro woke up startled, he felt off of his chair and hit his head against the desk. He cursed and massaged the spot where he had hit the table, his heart beating fast, his face drenched in cold sweat.

"It is another dream, Taichou?" Toshiro jumped at the voice. He lifted his head to see Matsumoto Rangiku leaning over to watching him from above the desk.

"Matsumoto." He said her name with a mixture of relief, guilt and longing. "You're okay."

The woman smiled gently at him moving to help him up. Toshiro was afraid to touch her again, but the woman wouldn't take a no for an answer. She took his hand in hers and helped him up. Toshiro felt a blush growing on his cheeks when he realized how closed she was.

"So, it was _that_ dream again, Taichou?"

Toshiro fidgeted looking everywhere but at Rangiku, "I didn't sleep well after…I'm sorry, Matsumoto. About your hand and…"

"Oh, Taichou, please! You don't need to apologize." The woman smiled at him waving away his concerns. "I should have known something was wrong. I felt your reiatsu and your room was so freezing cold! I should know better than to touch you when you're like that."

Toshiro looked upset, he opened his mouth to speak when his eyes found themselves locked with hers. "Now, now, Taichou…if you said anything else about the matter I won't give you this little paper that Yamamoto-soutaichou wanted me to deliver to you."

"You can't do that, Matsumoto." The young man tried to explain while the woman smiled hugely at him, lifting her hand and waving the paper up above Toshiro's head. "Unless you wanted me to forgo that advice from Unohana-taichou and put you to work on some paperwork…"

"You wouldn't dare…" Toshiro smirked darkly and Matsumoto felt her knees go weak and her face warmed at that look.

"Oh, try me."

"Meany, Taichou."

Toshiro looked confused at the shaking tone coming from Matsumoto, he glanced at her but suddenly Matsumoto found the far wall of the office more interesting. Toshiro took the paper and open it; he read it two times before gritting his teeth.

"Taichou?" He huffed sitting heavily on the chair and handing the paper to Matsumoto.

Toshiro cringed at the squeal of glee coming from Matsumoto. The woman jumped high and hugged Toshiro against her breast, rubbing the young man's face against them while speaking.

"Oh, Taichou! This is fabulous! We haven't been to the real world in a long time!"

Toshiro didn't know if this was good or bad. He did know, though, there was more than one reason for this sudden order to go and supervise Kurosaki Ichigo. There was always something more.

* * *

_~The Third Time_

There was a blue cube on top of the pillar. It was calling to him, seducing him with the bright blue moving inside the protective shell. He took a step towards it, his hand tingling, his heart beating hard, his breathing slowing down.

He knew the moment he touch it the answers to his questions would be found. There was a part of him who nagged him, asked him to stop. The truth could be even worse than the lies…But, he didn't stop.

He stood there in front of the cube, the room empty no sounds coming from anywhere but his own breathing.

_Are you sure you want to do this?_

He turned around at the sound of the voice. Hyourinmaru is standing right in front of him, he gasped because never before had he looked at Hyourinmaru straight in the eye. Not unless the ice-dragon was leaning closer to him.

Hyourinmaru smiled but there was sorrow and regret in his smile. Toshiro scoffed cocking his head to take in the form of Hyourinmaru. Since when did Hyourinmaru used such an…attired? Where did he get those black, leather pants, or that golden breastplate? Or that green cape?

"I need to know." And Toshiro frown deepened when his voice, deep and soft, echoed in the room. "What is going on here?"

_Knowledge can be such a hurtful thing, Toshiro. Stop now that you can because…maybe, just maybe, I can help you out; maybe I can protect you from them…_

"Who's 'them'? What do you know, Hyourinmaru?" But the zanpakutou didn't speak, just stood there staring at Toshiro waiting.

Toshiro growled in frustration and turned back to the blue cube, "I need to know."

Suddenly, something happened and Toshiro felt as if his actions were not his own and yet…it was all him.

"_Stop!" _He heard the voice, powerful and filled with authority. He could feel his heart aching with pain and betrayal.

"_Am I cursed?" _Toshiro heard his own voice, rough and tainted with unshed tears.

"_No."_

But he knew this to be a lie. He was a master of lies and he knew there was always, always, something else behind the words people uttered to others. He left the cube back on the pillar and asked, one more time, searching for a truthful answer.

"_What am I?" _He glanced to see Hyourinmaru shaking his head sadly, he gulped and started turning around.

"_You're my son." _And as he turned around to see the owner of the voice, the one who claimed to be his father…

He woke up.

There was snow falling. In the middle of summer, in the middle of the night. His eyes found themselves looking at the dark sky above his head, the stars twinkling back at him, teasing him while the snow brushed against his skin.

"So, what we heard was true? You 've been acting all strange and losing control of your reiatsu?" Toshiro sat up turning his head to stare at Kurosaki Ichigo.

The young man landed on the same roof Toshiro had been resting, he made his way closer to Toshiro and sat beside him. Lifting his head, with a clear frown on his face, Ichigo stretched his hand to catch some of the snowflakes.

"Care to tell me what this is?"

"It's snow, Kurosaki. If you didn't know after all these years then I find it difficult to believe you're on of the first on your class."

"Gee, I see your sense of humor hasn't changed one bit." Toshiro rolled his eyes glaring at Ichigo.

"What are you doing here?" Toshiro snorted going back to lie on his back and stare at the stars. "Did _they_ send you here to make me talk or do some kind of therapy session?"

"Whoa, lack of sleep sure makes you grumpier and aggressive." Ichigo glanced at Toshiro but there is worry attached to his face. "I don't know who you're talking about; but I'm here because I felt your reiatsu."

Toshiro sighed, "Sorry, it's just…yeah, lack of sleep makes me _grumpier and aggressive."_

Ichigo snorted but said nothing else; they stayed in silence, on top of the roof for a long time. Toshiro had his green eyes on the sky, watching the stars, watching the vast of the night sky.

He felt a pang of longing, of regret…wishing…wishing he was _there_ again.

"So, care to share what those dreams are about?"

There was a long silence afterwards; Ichigo felt suddenly a pair of green eyes on him. He turned and saw the expressionless face of Toshiro looking back at him. Ichigo fidgeted uncomfortable, Toshiro thought about what he should say.

"I died in a field of ice. I always thought that Hyourinmaru was an ice-type zanpakutou because of it…but," Toshiro blinked lifting his hand and watching it closely. The skin was paled, not blue…

"I started having this dreams about the same field, the coldness…how familiar and yet how unknown the setting was." Toshiro stopped there looking confused and frustrated. "I just can't figure out why I am dreaming this. Why it makes me lose control."

Ichigo didn't know what to say, it all seemed to be affecting the youngest Captain of the Gotei 13 in ways he has never seen before.

"Have you tried to…I don't know do something about it? I mean, trying to place the dreams or places…maybe talk with your zanpakutou?"

Toshiro smirked amused by Ichigo's options; he sat up shaking his head. "Thank you, Kurosaki. I think about it, but so far Hyourinmaru hasn't been able to give me a satisfactory answer."

Ichigo looked confusedly at Toshiro, "You're zanpakutou hasn't been able to help? How come?"

"What do you mean how come?"

"Well, whenever I'm in trouble the Old Man seems to know just what to say or give me a clue about it." Ichigo narrowed his eyes looking Toshiro closely; Toshiro rolled his eyes arching a single eyebrow. "You mean Hyourinmaru is just as…confused as you?"

Toshiro didn't seem the need to answer so he merely shrugged, "I think so, yes."

And then, Toshiro stood up and left. Ichigo frowned he could hear the voice of Zangetsu in his head. The both of them were thinking exactly the same thing. Toshiro and Hyourinmaru were hiding something.

* * *

~_The Fourth time ~_

Ichimaru Gin approached him from behind a building. The ever present smile on his face only grew when the man caught the expression on Toshiro's face.

"You don't look happy to see me, Toshiro-chan."

This time around Toshiro did realize he was dreaming. But, just like the other times he was in the same place.

A plain of ice.

The sky was just as darker as it was the first time around. He looked around watching the huge peaks, the mountains and the ruins of a former city surrounding him. Ichimaru Gin took a step closer to him, his smile growing dangerously.

"Does it bring memories to that head of yours, Toshiro-chan?"

"Stop calling me that, Ichimaru." Toshiro glared at him, clenching his fist. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Gin stopped looking taken aback by the question. "You really don't know?"

Toshiro clenched his teeth, it didn't matter to him that in the end the man turned out to be a form of anti-hero or anything; he still hate Ichimaru simply because _he_ made Rangiku cry. Thus, he wouldn't stop pummeling the man, even in his dream, if that was what it took for him to answer his question.

Besides, it was irking thinking maybe Ichimaru, even dream-Ichimaru knew more about the situation than him. Toshiro turned his teal eyes to Ichimaru and something in the man changed. His posture looked even tenser than before, his smile was gone and his head was cocked to the side.

"Do you know, Toshiro, I could finally die because I knew you were powerful enough to take care of her?" Gin chuckled shaking his head. "I knew you could give her what I could not."

There was a sound of battle coming from somewhere; Toshiro took his hand automatically to his back where he knew Hyourinmaru rest. There wasn't any Hyourinmaru, instead he found something different. Bringing it to the front he saw a scepter. Gold with a single gem on the top, gleaming a blue light.

"What…?" Toshiro felt the power coming from the staff, he felt as if a jolt of electricity went from the warm metal up his arm through his body.

Then there were screams and a growl; suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and when he looked he realized he didn't need to lift his gaze to look into Gin's eyes. The man was the same height as him or maybe…Toshiro look down on him and he saw those same black, leather pants, those boots…

"You still don't know and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing….Hopefully, Shiro-chan, you will know the right path when the time comes…"

"What are you talking about?" Gin took the staff from Toshiro's hand and throw it away.

"You won't need that." Toshiro blinked confusedly, he opened his mouth to speak when a light coming from the sky interrupted him. Then, Toshiro turned an in the middle of the light he saw an splendid stallion and, on top of it, a majestic figure.

A familiar figure.

"Father…"

Toshiro heard the sound of the alarm clock right next to his left ear. He groaned trying to grasp the last bits of his dream while stretching out his hand to turn off the clock.

He turned around and jumped right out of his bed when his eyes fell upon the sleeping form of Matsumoto. The woman had on a really loose shirt that had fallen down her shoulder and was showing most of her…chest without really showing anything.

He grasped his chest and glared at the woman, the glare didn't stay on for a long time. He stood up and went to her, feeling his cheeks warm as he noticed she only have the shirt on, only barely covering her legs. Toshiro felt the door open and someone entered the room, he didn't turn for he felt Orihime's presence.

"She stayed here all night." This time Toshiro turned and saw the worry on her face.

"What happened?"

"You were mumbling in your sleep." Then Orihime trailed off, she looked intently at Toshiro before continuing. "I…You say some things…I'm sorry I know we shouldn't have listened but…"

Toshiro smiled at her shaking his head, "It's okay, what did I say?"

Orihime hesitated then she spoke, "You talked about a plain of ice…you…mention Ichimaru-kun and…something about your brother."

Toshiro suddenly felt dizzy, he narrowed his eyes while Orihime tried to not look at him. Then, the girl turned her face to him and smiled sadly.

"I also lost my brother." Orihime took a step forward but stopped when she noticed how tense Toshiro became. "Rangiku-san stayed her all night, she was really worried. Maybe…Maybe you should talk to her?"

Toshiro turned to Rangiku, carefully without disturbing her sleep he took her in his arms and placed her on the bed. He took the sheet of his bed and placed on top of her before exiting the room with Orihime. He fidgeted uncomfortably, lowering his head then turning around to face Orihime.

"Thank you, Orihime." She smiled at him scratching the back of her head.

"What kind of friend would I be if I wasn't there for the two of you?" She chuckled and Toshiro smile back at her.

"So, you wouldn't mind helping me some more?" Orihime stopped laughing and blinked puzzle at Toshiro.

"Help you with what?"

"You said I have to speak with Matsumoto because she is worried." Orihime nodded and Toshiro looked contemplative. "Do you happen to know some place where I can take her and speak with her? Without being interrupted?"

"Oh, like a date!" Replied Orihime closing her fist and hitting the palm of her hand. Toshiro almost swallowed his tongue, he hated the fact he felt his cheeks warm a sign of the stupid blush forming there.

"No! No-no like a da…"

"Oh, that would be so nice! I've always thought the two of you make such a cute couple!"

Toshiro tried to explain, he tried to say to Orihime that it wasn't a date. The only thing he wanted to do was to speak with Matsumoto, nothing else. Hyourinmaru merely chuckled and decided to tease his Master.

_Sure, keep telling yourself that…I know, firsthand what you do when you're not having nightmares._

'_Oh, shut up! You should be helping me here!'_

_Why should I? This seems funnier than trying to remember those dreams of yours…_

Toshiro ignored his zanpakutou in favor of Orihime who was giving him some ideas as to where he could take Rangiku. She mentioned several places and several ways to try and court the woman, sometimes Toshiro would open his mouth to protest some others he just sighed resigned.

By the end of the morning Orihime was beaming, her eyes gleaming as she kept on talking about something Ishida had done for her. Toshiro couldn't help but smile at the exuberance of the young woman.

"Oh, and then you can take her by the hand and invited her to dance and give her a kiss in the middle of the dance floor."

Toshiro lowered his gaze while his mind provided the image of him and Rangiku, he felt a knot on his throat and a pang of _something_ in his heart.

"Oh, who are you kissing in the middle of a dance floor, Taichou?"

Toshiro was so engrossed with the visuals and Orihime's words he never felt his fukutaichou entered the room until she spoke and hugged him from behind. Orihime watched the scene giggling softly whereas Toshiro tried to free himself and hide his embarrassment.

"Let go of me, Matsumoto"

"Oh, no, Taichou, now…you tell me who is this mysterious woman you're kissing and why I don't know nothing about her…" Rangiku turned her attention to Orihime and winked at her. Toshiro gaped, opening his mouth to try and come with a reply.

_Oh, Toshiro, do enjoy this…because maybe this could be the beginning of such a wonderful world of pleasure for you…_

'_Do shut up, Hyourinmaru!' _ The ice-dragon laughed hard and Toshiro finally freed himself while turning around. This turned out to be a bad move as the action made Rangiku lost her balance and landed on top of him.

There was a soft gasp coming from Orihime, and an intake of breath coming from Toshiro and Rangiku. Both of them stared at each other, tensed and unsure of what to do.

_Yes, you want her Look at her, you know you do Possible she wants you too There is one way to ask her It don't take a word Not a single word Go on and kiss the girl_

Hyourinmaru sang with a bad, place tune and a swing of his tail. Toshiro felt his eyebrow twitched at the absurdity of the song and wondered briefly where the heck the dragon had heard the Little Mermaid song. Rangiku seemed to be in an equal predicament; but, there must be something else because suddenly she blush an interesting shade of red, something Toshiro had never seen before.

"You're blushing." And he felt the needed to say so. Matsumoto smiled nervously and her eyes went from Toshiro's green ones to his lips and then back again.

"Oe! Orihime, are you ready?" The boisterous way in which Ichigo called out for Orihime brought Toshiro and Rangiku back to reality. It startled them and both of them ended up on the floor.

Orihime gave a sigh of disappointment and open the door with a smiling face, "Hello, Kurosaki-kun! Kuchiki-san!"

"How are you, Orihime?" Rukia smiled at the girl and then her eyes moved to the inside of the house. She felt her eyebrows lifted really high at the sight of the commander officers of the Tenth Division. Both of them were red on their cheeks and looking everywhere but at each other.

"How are things, Toshiro? You better than last time I saw you?" Toshiro walked to the entrance of the house glancing at Ichigo.

"Yes, you could say that."

Ichigo scowled but said nothing, he noticed the darkened glances Orihime and Rangiku sent to each other. Ichigo narrowed one eye nodding towards the street.

"Well, we're going to the mall and then to some movies. Wanna come? You too, of course, Rangiku-san."

Rangiku was about to accepted but Orihime interrupted her, "Oh, no she and Toshiro-kun have some things to do. We should go now! Bye, Rangiku-san! Bye, Toshiro-kun!"

The last part was said with a wink to the white-haired taichou and then they were gone. Rangiku blinked confusedly, she turned her grey eyes to Toshiro who was distractedly watching his nails. She smiled, a soft genuine smiled and decided to go to her room and get changed.

* * *

"This is what you and Orihime were talking about." Rangiku glanced around excitedly well-aware of her taichou's eyes following her every move.

They were in the town next to Karakura; the place had a wonderful bay with a huge plaza located just in front of the ocean. It was a nice sight, over all because they arrived at some time in the afternoon and the sun was starting to set.

They sat down on one of the tables closest to the ocean and Toshiro could smell the salt in the air accompanied by the smell of ozone. It was this last one thing he noticed that brought to memory the sound of thunder. He frowned while glancing at Rangiku who turned around with a grin.

"This is so beautiful, Taichou. But, why did you bring me here?"

The sound of people chatting, of soft music sounding in the background, the sound of the waves hitting the bay; all off this was making the atmosphere relaxing but it did nothing to calm Toshiro's doubts. He glanced out to the ocean and wonder what he could tell Rangiku: should he tell her the truth? Or, should he lie to her?

It would be so easy to fabricate something akin to the truth, something believable with what has been happening since the end of the Winter War. But, was he ready to lie to Rangiku about this?

On the other side of the table, Matsumoto was observing her Taichou closely. She pursed her lips when she noticed the gleam of doubt shinning in the young man's eyes. She sighed knowing in brief moments he would tell something to placate her doubts but it would only increase them. She hated the fact this scenario felt familiar, that she certainly had lived this before with another Captain as well.

However, today, Rangiku didn't feel like letting Toshiro get away. She didn't feel like missing the chance, not this time.

"We're all worried, you know?" Rangiku lowered her gaze smiling sadly while playing with the straw of her colorful drink.

Toshiro snorted and soon enough regretted it. Rangiku glared at him before shaking her head.

"We really are. I know Urahara and Yoruichi can be noisy and that Ichigo can be such an idiot but we really are worried and trying to find what is happening to you, Taichou."

Toshiro observed Rangiku in silence as the woman explained to him how Ichigo was asking around to all the people he knew about what could possibly be happening to Toshiro. How Urahara seemed interested in the reiatsu fluctuations and the changes in the energy. How Yoruichi liked to spy on him (and Toshiro didn't dare to ask anything else about the matter).

And then, Toshiro asked himself why he had lied to all of them. Why he hadn't told Urahara the growing of his reiatsu, while steady, has been happening since Aizen had slashed him with Kyouka Suigetsu. He could still feel the blade cutting something deep inside Toshiro, something he forgot/didn't know he had inside him.

Looking up at Rangiku, Toshiro nodded briefly and decided to tell Rangiku part of the truth.

"I've been dreaming about ice. About the plain of ice where…where I died." Toshiro's voice was soft and enticing, there was something changing in him as he told the story to Rangiku. "I think those are memories. But, they're not really defined, they're a little blurry…I do remember the coldness, the chain of icy mountains around me…I remember a voice calling to me."

"Hyourinmaru's voice?" Toshiro shook his head frowning.

"No, another's voice."

"You…you're brother, perhaps?" Toshiro turned to Rangiku and he could see the nervousness there. "We…heard you last night."

"Yes, Orihime told me about it." Toshiro sighed and shrugged. "I think so, I really don't remember that part of the dream."

He did, however, remember someone calling out to him, screaming _brother_ at the top of his lungs. He also remembered another's tittle, a tittle that made his heart bit a tad bit faster, made his hands feel sweaty. _Father_.

The rest of the evening went without any more mentions about Toshiro's dream or strange reactions. They started talking about different things, different moments of their lives in Rukongai, things they have never told the other before. Toshiro felt his worries ease up, he felt himself forgetting why he felt so tense and nervous and started feeling another thing altogether. He started thinking maybe Orihime's advices about what he should do next would be a good idea. That maybe taking Rangiku's hand wouldn't be so bad after all. Maybe, even leant in and take her lips in his…

"Taichou! Are you listening to me?" The woman narrowed her eyes at the young man who was now blushing an interesting shade of red.

"Yes, yes, of course. Go on." Rangiku narrowed her eyes then grinned blindly at him and continued the story.

At that moment Toshiro realized he was in such a deep, deep trouble. And this woman was just the tip of the iceberg.

* * *

~_The Sixth Time~_

Two months later and suddenly there were no more dreams. This did nothing to assure Toshiro, on the contrary, it made him feel uneasy and nervous. He knew there was something else behind the dream, there was something he still couldn't pin point and Hyourinmaru wasn't telling.

He knew there was something wrong the moment he started doing _that._ It was an accident, unconscious and it scared the shit out of him. He was training in the backyard of the Division, alone in the middle of the night. He made sure Rangiku was fast asleep in her room and the rest of the members of his division were either occupied or asleep.

It was a simple exercise in which he concentrated his reiatsu in the form of different spells. Nothing big or that would alert the rest of the members of the Gotei 13. He started whispering the spell, everything was going according to plan until…

…He felt the sudden changed, the raw power at the palm of his hand, the blue coloring of the kidou changing to a green one. He felt the familiarity of the energy pouring out of him and then, when he launched the green energy it changed the target in an instant.

It was a surprised. He thought it would explode or something liked that but instead it changed form. From that day on, Toshiro work on that feeling. He would close his eyes until he felt it roaming around his soul, waiting for him to stretch his fingertips and take it.

At first, he would change form of things around him. It was difficult but with practice t got better. Then he started making other elements. Usually, the ice and water were natural to him if he had Hyourinmaru with him. But, eventually, he discovered ice and water weren't the only things he needed to create elements. And, surprisingly enough, the next one he was capable of reproduced and manipulate was fire.

No one knew about it. He had made sure of it and, when asked about his whereabouts or what he was doing, the lie would slip out of his mouth as easily as the true had a long time ago.

"What do you say, Shiro-chan?" Toshiro turned a bored expression to Hinamori, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"It's Hitsugaya-taichou, and I think it's a wonderful idea." The girl's eyes lit up while Toshiro spared her a small smile.

"Really? You think so?"

"Yes, of course." Toshiro reclined backwards on his chair, his eyes drifting briefly to the desk beside his. "What else have you planned with this outing to the Real World?"

"Oh, the usual, I just want the next meeting of the SWA to be successful and since Yoruichi-san said something about this new amusement park in Karakura town, I thought, why not try it?"

"Maybe because your mind remind you of Kusajishi?" Asked Toshiro lifting an eyebrow, Momo giggled shaking her head.

"Oh, Shiro-chan, Yachiru-chan isn't _that_ bad." Toshiro lifted and eyebrow and Momo smiled nervously. "No, really, she isn't"

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Bed-wetter Momo."

"Don't call me that, Shiro-chan!" Toshiro twitched while the young woman pouted.

"Oh, the nerve! Really? I stop calling you that when you start calling me Hitsugaya-taichou."

Momo smiled at Toshiro and suddenly there was a silence between them, Toshiro watched the girl for a moment until she started fidgeting on the chair.

"What is it?" He finally asked making Momo jumped startle.

"Oh, well…I was wondering how you were doing? You know with…your sleep and all."

Toshiro felt touch by the concern, he lowered his gaze at his green eyes fell on the pencil on top of his paperwork. The pencil moments before had been a feather. He remembered everything he had been capable of doing in the last few days, how after the dreams seemed to disappeared other things inside him woke up.

"I've been better. At least, now I can sleep without being awaked by those dreams." Toshiro shrugged. "And my reiatsu is finally in control. Urahara thinks my…_problem _could be a parting gift from Aizen."

Momo flinched at the mention of her former Captain; Toshiro narrowed his eyes because he knew the girl still felt something for the bastard. Still, she was trying and the fact she didn't jump in in defense of the man was a step in the right direction. Hinamori was about to speak when the door slam open and Matsumoto Rangiku entered the office.

"Taichou! Good Morning!" She went to hug the young man tightly, Momo hid her giggle when she noticed the blush forming on Toshiro's face at being engulfed in the woman's arms and chest.

"Matsumoto! Get off of me!" The woman laughed turning to face Hinamori and winked at her. Hinamori had to stop her laugh the moment Matsumoto leant in and kiss Toshiro right out of the corner of his lips.

"How are you this morning, Taichou?" The mischief dancing in those grey eyes made Toshiro wish he didn't actually _like_ that expression on her so he could freeze her ass for embarrassing him like that.

"I was doing pretty well until you arrived five hours late and…" He waved at her still unable to say anything about what just happened. Rangiku laughed some more squeezing her Taichou's shoulder and moving past his desk to her own.

"Oh, Taichou, you don't have to worry about Momo, right?" She winked at the girl who nodded with a huge grin on her face. Toshiro felt something akin to fear stir inside him. "She knows everything about our little dates…"

Toshiro turned to glare at Rangiku, the woman winked at him smiling like a Cheshire cat, her chin resting on the palm of her hand. He narrowed his eyes turning to see Momo's own smile.

"I'm glad for you, Shiro-chan." He rolled his eyes and decided to stay wisely shut.

"Yes, well…what can I do?"

"Aw, Taichou, don't make it sound like an arduous work!" Rangiku sighed dramatically. "You're making it sound as if you didn't have any option."

Actually, Toshiro thought he didn't. After that first time they went out Rangiku had taken him to different places, each time speaking about different things, and about the third date they always ended up kissing.

For some reason, or some unknown memory, he felt as if he was cheating on someone. Which is ridiculous because he didn't remember having dated anyone in the past…right?

"Oh, Taichou is coming to, right?" Toshiro shook his thoughts away and turned to the two women in the room. They both were looking at him, he cleared his throat and straightened up in the chair.

"I'm coming where?"

"With us! To the Real World! Ichigo is waiting for you as well!" Rangiku grinned. "I think you're his BBF."

"His what?"

"Best Buddy Forever!" Toshiro rolled his eyes and decided to return his attention to the paperwork he had forgotten the moment Momo entered his office.

"If you get Yamamoto-soutaichou to agree to another trip to the Real World then…" Toshiro hesitated, if there was anyone out there to convince the Soutaichou of this would be Matsumoto; then a part of him thought it would be a nice thing.

"…Then, I'll go."

As it turned out, Yamamoto-soutaichou was convinced and Toshiro decided it would be in his best interested to not ask how. He was walking down some street with Kurosaki babbling about Kuchiki and her brother and how to make a formal petition to the woman's brother. Toshiro snorted wishing every form of luck to the young man for he would need it when he faced Byakuya.

Suddenly, Toshiro saw something out of the corner of his eye. A reflection. His reflection. He stopped and went back on his footsteps, frowning when he was in front of a library, his reflection was the same as it always had been but…moments ago he would swear he saw…

He stared at himself, green eyes suddenly gleaming back at him. Then something out of the corner of his eye called his attention and, when he turned, he saw a book.

_Norse Mythology._

"Hey! You left me speaking alone! What are you doing?" Toshiro didn't answer when Ichigo approached him. The orange-haired boy frowned confused looking from Toshiro to the book.

"What's Norse mythology?" The question caught Ichigo off guard; the substitute shinigami knitted his brows and leaned closer to the glass.

"You don't know? I thought you were a prodigy and all that." Toshiro glanced back at Ichigo glaring at him.

"It sounds familiar and I'm not a prodigy because I know everything." He replied dryly.

"Okay, let's see…If I'm not wrong those are a couple of stories about the Norse gods. You know? The same time as Greeks but with the Norse and the Vikings." Toshiro lifted an eyebrow at the lame explanation.

"So, they're myths of a specific place. Vikings? You mean, Norway and the general region or…?"

"I'm not really sure. Mythology has never been my favorite subject. I didn't believe in any of that so…"

"I'm a shinigami. Dead God?"

"Yeah, but…I don't think you guys are god per se…" Ichigo looked uncomfortable with the subject, but Toshiro wish to know more.

"Well, then wait here."

"Where are you going?" Toshiro was about to enter the store he turned to Ichigo and spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"To buy the book."

"Why?" But Ichigo's question was left hanging in the air; he looked confused but at the same time worried about his friend. There was something there, something he and the rest were forgoing but Ichigo still couldn't grasp.

Toshiro exited the store with an expressionless face; he had the bag on his right hand and resumed his walk. Ichigo was beside him glancing at the young Taichou once in a while.

That night, Toshiro dreamt again.

* * *

~ _The Seventh Time ~_

_I dream of plains of ice…_

He could feel the hard surface of something cold under his back. The sky was dark and devoid of any stars or moon. He felt the biting breeze brush against his skin, the sound of the blowing wind filling his ears. He tried to speak but he felt an indescribable pain shooting from his chest to the rest of his body. His voice tangled with his need for breath, his limbs felt heavy and he found himself unable to move.

He blinked feeling the coldness consume him, the darkness taking over him and a sense of peace finally taking over all the hate, jealousy, envy and sadness he had inside him.

_I can hear a voice…_

"_Brother!"_

He heard him, he could see the sorrow in his eyes, the regret of what could have be done but never could be. Not anymore. The mistakes had been made, and decisions had been taken.

"_I could have done if, father!"_

And he saw the disappointment there, his sole eye staring back at him telling him, it didn't matter how much he tried, it would never end the way he wanted it.

…_echoing…_

…_crushing…engulfing…_

…_It is swallowing me up…_

"_Brother, however I have wronged you, whatever I have done that has led you to do this, I am truly sorry. But these people are innocent, taking their lives will gain you nothing. So take mine, and end this."_

He clenched his fist while he turned to look at the side, not being able to confront the look inside _his_ eyes. It all hurt, and he thought it would probably hurt forever. He remembered golden halls, guards at each side of him, sitting on a majestic throne and then, suddenly, he wondered where he was and why he was there.

…_just like thunder…_

He felt _him_ before he could see_ him_. The thunder rumbling was a perfect give away even if these people didn't recognized it. He waited and _he_ didn't make himself wait, _he_ opened the gate and took him. Those blue eyes spoke of mourn and love, of things lost and the promise of making it all better. Of making amends.

"_Did you mourn?"_

"_We all did."_

_Resounding far in the distance…_

…_Like a flower touching my palm._

"If you do this, there is a possibility you will never recover what you are giving up." He turned his back to the man he had called father once. To the man he still calls father.

"Wouldn't you be happy about it?" He couldn't see him but he knew there was disapproval and sorrow in the old man's face. "That I will finally be gone and with me that very same thing that threatens your beloved first born and your realm?"

He felt two strong hands grab him by his shoulders and turning him around, suddenly he found himself looking face to face with an old man. He knew he should be recognizing him but…the memory eluded him.

"I would never be happy about it. You are my son. Always have been and always will be." He felt a knot in his throat, unshed tears in his eyes. "I do not want you to do this but I cannot help but feel proud that you want to make amends because of your mistakes."

He lowered his gaze, incapable of maintaining the stare the old man is giving him, "At least, let me die with honor and do not tell anyone about this."

That was how he found himself in the plain of ice, feeling his life slip away as he watched the darkened sky and felt the cold sneaking inside his body. That was the last time he heard the thunderous voice calling out to him and then…just when he was about to go he realized the old man fixed everything so he would not die.

He felt it. A second chance. A second life. And opportunity to right all his wrong doings.

_I die in the field of ice_

He woke up at the sound of his cellphone.

Toshiro frowned when his cellphone started ringing. He took it out of his pocket and watched the gleaming screen. It was Matsumoto.

"Taichou! You need to come! We need you, now!"

Then the communication was over and Toshiro was left confused. "What the hell was that? If this is another of Matsumoto's jokes…"

Then, he felt it. Several familiar reiatsu rising in the middle of the night as an alert sign; Toshiro looked up while placing a gikon to his mouth.

When he arrived at the scene he didn't get it how come a group of hollows of this caliber got past his internal radar. He was a Captain for god's sake! Was he really that distracted?

Without any more preambles he got into the fight. Hyourinmaru roared into the skies cutting and beheading hollows left and right; he smiled to himself when he noticed the smile of relief on Rangiku's face.

He was back. If just for a little bit.

"Well, it's good to have you here." Ichigo came from behind Toshiro back to back, looking at the young taichou out of the corner of his eye. "Any idea where all these hollows came from?"

"I wasn't here when they appeared, Kurosaki. Care to tell me, how _that_ happened?"

Ichigo blocked a paw with Zangetsu, whereas Toshiro put Hyourinmaru into action, the ice dragon roar while taking in its mouth a rather big hollow. Around him he could see the ashes belonging to Haineko and Toshiro knew, nearby, was Matsumoto. He felt relief, felt secure, felt he was among friends the way he hadn't feel in the last couple of weeks since his dreams/nightmares started.

He fought like the Captain he is. His reiatsu under control while he stopped attacks left and right.

But things couldn't be perfect.

Toshiro blocked an attack when suddenly steam came out of his mouth. The atmosphere changed around him, getting colder and darker. He felt the cold breeze brushed against his skin, he sense there was something different among the hollows.

"I told you I will find you." Toshiro turned around and felt the heavy hit of ice hitting him straight in the jaw sending him flying several buildings ways. His back hit a brick wall; blood came out of his mouth.

Toshiro tried to stand up but couldn't, he let out a yelp of pain as his eyes tried to focus on the approaching form. It was huge, taller even than Kenpachi, his body was a dark shade of blue and his red eyes were gleaming with malice while his mouth drew a nasty smirk. The path under his feet was forming ice with each step he took to get closer to Toshiro.

"You are not getting away this time…I told you it doesn't matter what you do, how much you changed I will find you." The creature approached Toshiro and Toshiro couldn't move, couldn't breathe…He felt the pain of the crash all over his body; his green eyes were watching the creature approached.

He could hear Matsumoto, Kurosaki and Kuchiki screaming out there. He could sense their reiatsu and he himself could feel his own power growing, he could sense the restless soul of his zanpakutou. But, he could do nothing…he was helpless…

Suddenly, he smelt it.

Ozone.

Toshiro felt something click in his mind when a thunder rumbled in the sky. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw the lightning and the storm approaching. The creature stopped and there was fear in his eyes.

The last thing he saw right before he closed his eyes was the whirling of a red cape in front of him.

"Brother. Please brother, be all right."

The voice belonging to a man screaming out into the night and then…then Toshiro remembered and he couldn't help but smirk. He remembered that voice. He remembered that night in which everything changed, when the voice of his father reached his ears and the enchantment the All-Father put on him.

The second chance was over and he was back. Loki Odinson, son of Odin All-Father and Lady Frigg. Brother of the God of Thunder.

"Thor."

* * *

**AN: **If you asked me I would probably tell you I don't know where this story came from. It just did. Toshiro is my favorite character from Bleach ad Loki is my favorite character from Marvel. I know some things in this story are strange and probably don't make any sense when read unless you have a background in the story surronding Loki and Toshiro, and this story develops into both worlds. By the way, the Loki bits are based on the movies more so than the comics. And the part with Toshiro is an obvious AU from the original story-line in Bleach after the Winter War. Oh, I also found it funny that I can't write a bleach story in which I don't include a little bit of HitsuMatsu...Oh, well...

Thank you for reading.

Questions, doubts, criticism, comments are very welcomed and I would answer the best I can.


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